Hearts Bled
hearts bled
from the day of our wed
hearts bled
from tears never shed
hearts bled
from words left unsaid
hearts bled
from arms never spread
hearts bled
from me working instead
hearts bled
from a life never led
hearts bled
cause my eyes were not red
hearts bled
cause with her I had not pled
hearts bled
cause she went on ahead
hearts bled
cause her legs she did spread
hearts bled
cause what's now in my head
hearts bled
cause words were now said
hearts bled
cause from my pain I fled
hearts bled
cause I wished I were dead
- allul's blog
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Hi there
I noticed that 30 something people have read this and nobody has had the nerve to tell you that it was not very good read, in fact it was boring and took all I had to get all the way through. That's not meant to be mean, it's meant to let you know that you need to come better to please the audience.
Honestly yours,
Pete
Honestly
I welcome any honest constructive feedback, especially the positively negative. Thank you for sticking around long enough to provide yours.
However, If anyone believes my intentions are turning toward trying to please the audience rather than improving myself, promptly slap me back around.
i totally agree
it was a nice try,but it is easy to see many things don't really suit together,they only rhyme with ''bled'' so you used them.But practice makes perfect,so keep going on..