The thrill of the chase,
The sexy look on her face,
It makes my heart race.
The first passionate embrace,
We then rush back to her place.

Chocolate makes me fat,
I give it to the dog,
The dog drops down dead,
Lies as still as a log.

No more walks for us,
So here I am just sat,
Without this regular exercise,

We have been together a couple of years,
You’ve helped me overcome my fears.
When I’ve been led astray,
You are there to find the way.
I hear your beautiful voice,

I’m on the first tee,
Everyone stands watching,
I’m feeling real good,
I draw the club back and swing,
Shit, the ball flies out of bounds!!!

Summer came again,
I got a speeding ticket.
The weather was hot,
My car has got some damage.
I hope it rains tomorrow!

Summer came today,
Lots of girls in low cut tops.
The weather is hot.
Twice I almost crashed my car.
I can’t wait for tomorrow!

Take this thought away,
As you go about your day.
Make a person smile,
It will make it more worthwhile,
Bringing joy along the way.

This was something I never predicted,
But I think that now, I might be addicted.
“Oh my goodness” I hear you say,
“What is this problem that controls his day?”

I’ve been reading since half past eight
And now it is seriously late
But this is a fantastic book
I’ve been incredibly hooked
The tiredness I knew I’d dread
I should have gone to bed

I noticed on the showcase today
An advert for a Zwinky
I down loaded her right away
And dressed her in something quite kinky

On my computer toolbar she sits
Where she takes pride of place

You have been a very good friend
But often driven me round the bend
I know you enjoy our play
As we’ve been together for many a day
I’ve tried to solve your riddle

They say a man thinks about sex every seventh second
So during my life I do reckon
In a minute the number is eight
Wow now I’m starting to gyrate
Over five hundred times in an hour

I recently got a new date
With whom I’m hoping I can mate
My firsts thoughts were she’s great
But she soon became over weight

This made me rather irate
As I had wanted a size eight

I live in the domain of a drain
Where I hear someone trying to strain
Then suddenly pulling a chain
It pores down on me like rain

Living here people think I’m insane

I have always been obsessed
With looking at ladies breasts
One day one did protest
You’re staring at my chest
Yes I did confess
I was looking down your vest
She said you are a pest