There is a mountain of chocolate
Dark, milk, white, cherry, orange
Creamy, sugary chocolate
Peering back at me through the glass window
Eat me! Eat me!
And I want to eat them
Not a little bit, not a tiny bit
But I want to eat them
Very VERY much.
So much that I’m starting to drool
I’m starting to hear the rum tum tum tum
Grumble of my stomach
And I want them.
Oh, I want them
So I check my pockets
Once, twice
Keys, dust bunnies
No money.
And I’m like, “What the hell?
I want that damn chocolate!”
So I pound on the window
And the kid inside looks at me
Like I’m on something
And I make a face
Because I’m frickin’ hungry.
So this kid comes out
And says, “What the hell you lookin’ at?”
And I’m like, “Gimme candy little boy!”
And he’s like, “Hell no! Get away from me!”
But I want that chocolate
So I grab him ‘round the waist
And try to get the bar from him
And he’s fighting back and trying
To get to his mama’s car
So we’re wrestling and moving
Towards the parking lot
When a police guy jumps out
Of his newspaper with a cherry on top
Cop car
And yells, “Nooo!”
And he hits me with a frickin’ night stick
Because he thinks I’m a pedo
And I let go of the kid
But not the chocolate
Because I really want that chocolate
And I’m hungry
And so I got a frickin’ headache
Because the cop’s still pounding my head
And the kid won’t let go
So I get mad and reel back
And kick him in the face.
He lets go, so I take the chocolate, shove it in my mouth
And swallow.
And that’s why I’m in jail
But it’s not my fault
That was a damn stupid kid
And it was some REALLY good chocolate.

-Lauren
May 2, 2007