So today I wrote a poem for a certain blue eyed boy, but unfortunately since it was a creative writing assignment assigned when I was sick and it was supposed to be a two day project, I ended up writing it the period before it was due in my Honors History class. I'm a little bit sad, because I wish that I could have copied things down beforehand and the blogged 'em. Lame! It was my second poem of the school year too. Well, I liked it, surprisingly, because I normally take a long time to start liking my stuff, but this one was a good one. ^^ Told you I'd write you a poem eventually!!!!..

So I'm working again tonight at GMC and I just know that it'll be a long long night. Yay online shopping!

EWWW! And just now the Fed Ex guy was picking stuff up from me and he said, "Mmm you look sexy today." Gosh that was incredibly disturbing. I swear that guy grosses me out whenever I have to see him.

Anyways, so as I've told a few of you lately, my cousin Courtney just had a miscarriage a couple of days ago and the whole thing just really really upset me. I mean normally I would be sad though I wouldn't really dwell on it, but lately I've been sort of thinking on things like that and I did some research on what miscarriages are and I just got totally upset. The whole concept of a miscarriage is horrible! I'm not understating when I say that I get utterly one-mindedly upset. Just thinking about it makes me so depressed that I want to throw up, not to mention the fact that my mother went into detail on it. Poor little babies coming out without arms or legs, just deformed and tangled up and terrible looking. Not to mention the way that they have to be disposed of, as if their just some piece of garbage that needs to be thrown out. A little baby! I get so disgusted and angry that things like that happen! If it ever ever ever happened to me, I would be hysterical. I wouldn't be able to think or eat or sleep! I'd be having nightmares and I wonder if I wouldn't even try to kill myself if things got bad enough. I just wouldn't be able to handle it… I feel so much for my cousin Courtney. I'm going to be praying for her constantly.

I just hope that my pregnancy turns out okay. I'll be so careful and so worried. I get a little weirded out sometimes thinking about another little person growing inside of me, but after thinking about it there's this strange sort of contentment that comes along with it. This weird serenity. I think that if I ever got pregnant, after the initial shock of it died down, I'd be very very good about it.

Anyways, enough about pregnancies and things like that! I'm going to start going online shopping for a Halloween costume!!! Yay!!! I'll write a whole blog about it next. I'm so excited. So this is going to be my sad blog of the day. I'm aiming for a happy one next.

Lauren Hatch

September 12, 200