I suppose that I should have known that things would begin to unravel. I was taking things for granted and I should have appreciated them more. That's always been my problem though, live in the present and don't think about the future.

Though I suppose that that's not entirely true, considering that I was thinking about a situation like this when Sean took me out for lunch on thursday. (It was a dang good lunch too!) It made me think about how much the original teams at Hyundai mean to me and have meant to me in the past couple of months. The original A team: Cruz, Bernard, Sean, Sandra, Kyle, and Jennifer and then the original B team: Tony, Jessica, Zack, Robert, Brandon, and Giovanni. I've come to realize that no matter who goes out of those original teams, no one is going to take their place.

I guess that when I was with Sean and he was making me some of his quessadia thingy with all the extras and I was giving him one of my eggroles, I began to think, "Who am I going to be able to do this with once he's gone?" And that got me to thinking about how things will change completely once the original teams leave. I started to wonder if things at Hyundai would just slowly evolve into what they are at GMC. People not really caring to get to know you, people who don't ever talk to you, people who don't really care.... and that depressed me.

I don't think that anyone can really fathom how much of my heart I've already given to them, or how much I've come to respect them. It's hard. I mean seriously... What's going to happen if God forbid, Bernard gets the boot? Who's going to chase off those troublesome boys who come to visit? And what if Sean gets laid off? Then who's going to take me out to lunch and talk some sense into me when I'm doing something absolutely stupid? What about Kyle? Who will I have to make me laugh when they talk crap all day and need me to pretend to be their girlfriend?

The fact of the matter is, all of those people are irreplacable to me.

And that's why I'm so upset that Sandra and Brandon were laid off yesterday.

Sandra who was always there for me when I was bummed out and needed a pick me up. Who would say, "You're just a little brat," whenever I wanted a hug, but who would always hug me anyways. Sandra who was the mother figure there for me.

Then of course Brandon, who I always looked up to as an older brother, because I never had an older brother in my life and I always wanted one. Who was pissed with me when Robert was the first to go, who tried to make me smile when I nagged him because I was bored, and who made me happy when he would tell me stories about when he was in highschool. I'll just miss him a lot. I'll lose a lot of contentment knowing that he's not there. It makes me almost not want to work with the B team at all... which is sad, but true.

I don't know. I just hope that things will work out, you know?? I'm worried about the future, because everyone in this buisness is expendable. No one's safe. The second that they don't like you, for whatever reason, they can fire you straight away/ They'll just make something up, some stupid excuse, but we all know the real reasons. Get rid of the youngest first, get rid of those who are green, get rid of anyone who doesn't look like the car sales type. Who cares how well they're doing? Sometimes I just feel like strangling someone...

Oh, but on a good note Mariah is getting married soon! She's on break until the second so that's really great. Her husband is one lucky man, she's absolutely gorgeous and she's very very very nice. I don't think that I've ever met anyone nicer. She reminds me a lot of Idina Menzel. She has such a Maureen voice and for some reason she just makes me think of her. I don't know... strange, but that's a massive compliment from me. Idina is one of my role models after all, so congratulations to the new husband!!!

Hmm, I don't have much to write anymore. I was thinking about doing a big long rant, but I doubt that either Sandra or Brandon would really care if I did or not, so I decided not to sound like a crazed idiot and I'm containing myself.. Ehm I'm working GM more this month and I'm only at Hyundai two days. I find that I actually don't care now, especially sinse so many of the people that I liked are gone. I think that I'm just going to devote myself to paper work and doing other myspace crap. Nothing new nothing new nothing new.

I hope that things don't get any worse.

Still no period, so they just might.

-Lauren Hatch

September 1, 2007