Storm Coming

He is becoming nervous, guilty
The look in his eyes well guarded,
But easily discernable
My little boy, my gentle, doting, darling little boy
Puffed up on his pride
Stuffed to the brim with arrogant, mischievous thoughts
Ideas, plans, lies
Knowing full well that what he does is wrong
Pressuring her, forcing her, pushing her
My little boy, my gentle, doting, darling little boy
With the china doll glass eyes
And the two tiny petal lips
That lie, lie, lie, lie,
I thought that he would be the good child, the angel child
My little sweetheart who chastised me
For swearing, who cried when I went the wrong way,
Who told me not to raise my voice
Who told me that Jesus loved me
Forever
My little boy, my gentle, doting, darling little boy
That I betrayed, that I taught
That I ruined.
I’ve done this to him, back in those old days
When every day was filled with hatred
And when I told him to grow up
That no one loved us, that we had to love ourselves
Because no one would do it for us
I was stupid.
I was suffering, I was young and careless, and I didn’t know.
My little boy, my gentle, doting, darling little boy.
I forced you to grow up too quickly
Treating you like dirt, like you were nothing
Like I couldn’t stand the sight of you
But it was an act because I was hurting
And I wanted everyone around me to hurt too
I never ever hated you, Never
You were my best friend, I loved you
My little boy, my gentle, doting, darling little boy
You’ve grown up and you’ve learned
And you’ve become the dark little thing that I was
Back when I was young
You’ve become me
And now I’ve decided to put things right
Give you the help, the chance you need
To pull yourself out of the hell that you don’t even realize
That you’ve fallen into.
My little boy, my gentle, doting, darling little boy
You will grow to hate me for what I’ve done
But I’m doing what’s right
And I’m setting things straight
And I’m fixing the damage I’ve done
And I’m ready for your anger
Because I’ve deserved it for a long time now
But I love you
And I will continue to love you
My little boy, my gentle, doting, darling little boy
My brother.

-Lauren Hatch
May 1, 2007