We burst’d into a bar room while running from our fears
An old man on a bar stool, holding back his tears,
Said, “Put it on my bar tab! I really gotta scram,
I’m late for class at bar school and today we have exams!”
With one hand full of bar nuts, the other clutching sand,
We started up a bar fight, we fought it hand to hand.
Then Derrick drew a barbell using quill calligraphy,
Revealed his tattooed bar code and connection to the beast.
Soon out of all the bar taps beer commenced its pouring,
And on the blood-soaked bar top tired drunkards started snoring.
The message of this bar tale is, instead of facing threats,
Try therapeutic bar hops and combating derelicts.

“… Fardels Bear, / To grunt and sweat under a weary life...”
--From the "To be or not to be" soliloquy in Shakespeare's Hamlet
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Fardels Bear