As I awoke this morning a bright new day was born
I struggled out of bed I gave burp and little yawn

I staggered off to toilet intending just to piss
But when I got my pecker out it gave a little hiss

When I looked down oh what a fright, it made my body shake
For what I saw instead of cock was nasty carpet snake

I had it there right in my pants all curled up round one ball
With sharpened fangs and flicking tongue and beady eyes and all

I had the thing right by the throat as I began to shout
I pummelled and I yanked on it and tried to pull it out

The missus she came bursting in because of all the din
With quizzical expression for the state that I was in

And when she looked all she could see was scrawny little dick
With me all red and all puffed up, intent to throttle it

She said ‘You dirty little man, oh where did I go wrong!’
So I looked down - no snake was there - just red and swollen dong

And now I find embarrassment when we’re out with our friends
As she relates of dicks and snakes and that’s how story ends

Clemo