I Know
I know there are some who can not understand,
the bond that exists between a dog and a man.
A bond that when severed for what ever reason,
can cause so much pain and long time grieving.
A mystery to some and to others a horror,
how the loss of a dog can cause such sorrow.
That it can be so keen as a grown man to try,
and be so hurtful as to even make him cry.
But to those of you who can not understand,
for what ever reason, I extend my hand.
It is you for whom the rest of us should grieve,
for there is probably nothing you truly believe.
@2003
- Curtis J. Forsythe's blog
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S2 L3
I can't seem to follow the meaning here. It's like the rhyme is being forced. What is he trying? I like the sentiment this poem expresses though.
S2 L3
Curtis J. Forsythe
Second Stanza Line three? I see no problem here. S3 L3,4, perhaps.
Thank you for your comments.
So, in reference to the verb
So, in reference to the verb "try" in S2 L3, who or what is doing the "trying?" I honestly don't know. I still think you're forcing the rhyme, but I would delighted if you could convince me otherwise. Also what do you see wrong with S3 L3,4? I'm not trying to be hypercritical here. I'm just trying to gain a deeper insight into your writing, because even though I think it's fairly strong, I think it could be much stronger.
The verb "try"
Curtis J. Forsythe
From the New Merriam-Webster Pocket Dictionary:
try:
3. To put to test
4. To subject to strain, affliction or annoyance
Of course you know this. However, I begin to see your point. Perhaps a better read might be something on the order of "a grown man's metal to try;" or something to that effect.
Again, thank you for your comments. I really do appreciate them.
Ah, ok. It makes more sense
Ah, ok. It makes more sense now. Thanks! I won't quibble with the wording since I see what you're saying now. I'm by no means an expert on metrical poetry anyway, although I do enjoy reading and writing it, and I think I got hung up there on the verb's meaning. Cheers.