Don't Let Them Know
Don't let the ones that don't listen know, cause just because they know doesn't mean they'll start to listen. They'll never listen. They never will because your younger and they are superior to you. That's why they'll never listen. Don't think that once your older they'll start to listen because they wont. Never let them see your true face, never let them know who you truly are. There's thousands of things I can say about it but they will only listen to their own. Most adults are more ignorant then any child. If they shut up for a minute and listen to what I have to say then they would understand what's going on. Trust me they never stop for one second to listen to what someone younger then them have to say. and guess what, you can never do anything about it. That will never change. It doesn't matter that what you do helps you. They would prefer you to kill yourself then cut yourself. What keeps me from kill myself is my friends and my only connection to them at home is the internet and that's what they take away from me. The longer I'm away from them the more I want to kill myself. That's why I've been cutting myself more and more each night. If they don't like it then who cares because I know a 100% sure that I don't. Purely because I'm not changing myself for anyone!! No matter who it is, no matter what it's for, no matter why they want me to, no matter WHAT!!!!!I WILL NOT CHANGE MYSELF FOR OTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(sorry I don't really know how it should be broken up)
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you posted this on my daughter birthday
I have bad news for you though. People are afraid of what they can't understand... it has nothing to do with how old they are. If they have never felt the way you feel, then the only way they can possibly begin to understand is if you describe, in as much detail as possible, how you feel. It's not that they DON'T care... it's that they don't know HOW to. Ignorance is bliss and denial is comfortable. You can be screaming for someone to prove it and angry because they can't meet you at your level, but once again, that doesn't mean they don't care, it just means that they feel differently and are uneducated (for whatever reasons), to the ways which is neccesary to communicate with you.
I know people.. my family.. love me. I know that they cannot even begin to understand how I feel. I chose not to 'burden' them with it becasue I know that it will only make thier lives more complicated and my relationship with them more complex. As an adult.. there is a certain mask that I must wear.. these masks.. make the world work. I do not wish to be someone I am not, it's just that society isn't ready for who I am and I have to wiegh the consequeses of my actions. I hurt, it feels good to feel physical pain instead of emotional pain, but it's only temporary and just like any other adictive behavior, it takes more and more to make yourself feel better. You need to find something else that works.. for yourself, because YOU are what really matters to YOU and you are the only person who is going to take care of yourself. Be responsible for yourself in the best ways you can.. fight those negative thoughts, even if you have to sleep through them. It's always a tiny bit better in the morning. Communicate with the ones you love and surround yourself with possitive energy people and make sure you always have someone to talk to... but be carefull not to scare them, remeber.. not everyone can understand the extreme feelings if they havn't felt it themselves.
I understand what you saying.
And I know that they love me and care, it's just they don't bother to listen to me. I've tried to explain it to my sister and she just called me stupid for it. They don't know me and they don't understand me, but I know that's my own fault. The thing is, my friends all know and excpt it, they know it's just the way I am. I've always been like this around them, they basicaly see it as being normal for me. The reason why they know who I truly am, is because I never had to hold my tounge around them. With my family, I constantly have to hold my tounge, I never say anything, unless one of them talk to me first.
Thank you for reading my poem thingy, and for your words, but could you tell me what you think about my poem, thingy? I would like to know so I could use it to judge my other ones. If that isn't too much trouble for you.
RE: your 'poem thingy'
I'm no one to be judging poetry.. or even poetry thingys.;-) If writing proper poems by form is what your after, then I know you can take a poetry writing course or read up on it, but from the little I've learned, I've learned enough to know that I know nothing. Free form is what your doing here I think. I havn't read too many poems that have been that long. I have one or two myself that doesnt really fit into any traditional catagories, but It's a form of expression and I don't really think anyone has the right to judge what is acceptable or not when it comes to poetry. That's just my opinion. Of course, in school or in publications, they will insist that you conform for any degree of success, but Emily Dickinson didn't.