Colour Me The Moon
From the freedom of your cage,
Conquering questions
Of light and dark,
Sight and sound,
Of black and white.
Forcing knowledge, judgements,
On mankind,
Belittling all with
Boastful bravado.
With age should come wisdom,
To those that free themselves from their cage,
To those that care to learn,
See,
Listen.
Your self proclaimed greatness,
Nobility and valour,
Knowledge.
The wanton crassness
Of a lifetimes ego,
The alpha,
The great,
The all.
The sureness that you could do,
And had, done it all.
Our sufferance,
Our inadequacies,
Constantly highlighted,
As the final rays of a setting sun
Darken your ricepaper skin
On porcelain bones.
Fainted breath rattles,
Airless dusty lungs.
No perpetual preening now,
No clucking and strutting.
Waning years have caught you,
For your majestic ruling
Could not halt them.
Your laughable greatness,
Your aggresive dictating,
Your bullying commands
Are all failing.
Failing with each tortured breath
From your stinking, skeletal carcass.
If you're so great,
Colour me the moon,
Cunt.
- David Gibbs's blog
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Wow
My Man David,
You certainly had some serious shit to get out of your system when you wrote this scathing diatribe. It would appear that someone of the opposite sex really peed in your Wheaties big time. I hope you have a great weight lifted off of your chest now.
Pete
Thanks Pete
Bit of a different style for me, but I quite enjoy trying different styles.
As you say, get the shit out of the system, I think I managed a small turd here trying to convey the complete sewer system of a man this is about!
Thanks for reading and commenting Pete,
Dave
You're Welcome David
Speaking of crap, I must be posting pure unadulterated crap because I can't seem to garner any comments, even from my buddies whom I support faithfully. Fuck it, I might as well just quit posting these pieces that are obvious crap or go right over the readers heads.
Pete
Dave, WOW...
I'm glad you wrote this poem. This guy seems really bad. I dont like him already, and I dont even know him..
You are such a nice man Dave, This guy was probably jealous of you cuz you are such a good guy.
Thats my take!
Nice, STRONG write! I loved it.
Linda
:*)
Thanks Linda
For the charming comments and thanks for taking the time to read as well,
Dave
sounds like the song of an abused child to me...
very sad and moving, Dave. Someone was made to hurt a lot, and I'm praying it was not you! You deserve a lot better. Some people survive and come out the better for it!
We all love you here, Dave.
joyce
Thank You Joyce,
I believe you're right, with the right mindset a person can come out a lot better for it,
Thank you again for reading and commenting, always appreciated,
Dave
Last Line..
Very last line is the best because it adds a bit of 'kick ass' to the mix! What I took from this one, was an image of a decrepid authoritarian figure who was about to kick the bucket. At least you hoped that he would!? Yes, down with aggressive dictators! In with um...non aggressive souls like um.. squirrels for instance! I also imaged a religious figure for some reason. Any connection?
Nice use of description here, and it seems to me you worked on this for a while.
Tell me you wrote it in 5 mins now! Powerful piece Dave!
Debs x
Thanks Debs
You're right with what you say about the last line, "cunt" is such a strong word, probably one of the most disliked words by most people, and more so women. Thought about using the word "bastard" or similar, but nothing seems to pack the punch or sound as venomous as the word used. To me it ended the piece strongly and finally.
No religious figure involved, was just trying to get across that the person this is about, pretty much put themself on a par with God!
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, and it took about half an hour to write, just spilled out and I left it as it was!
Shows eh?! Ha ha
Dave
Arrogant Bitch
Arrogant Bitch… This is great… "The wanton crassness"...There are a lot of great lines... "With age should come wisdom,
To those that free themselves from their cage"...
It’s about time someone put her in her place. Can I send this to my ex-girlfriend?
Excellent write Dave!
Ray AKA Yobarney
Thanks Ray
Feel free to use whatever, thanks for reading and commenting on this piece,
Dave