Mother Moon
Mother moon shines so bright,
moonshadows cast, distorting sight.
Full moon in April, warm spring air.
Cosmos Luminary, you are fair.
Mothers love Bubbles, fills me with power.
Love spread, like a warm spring shower.
Full moon inspires, a celebration each turn.
I'll gaze upon you, till father sun burns.
- DebborahAnn's blog
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Pacing
Deb,
You have some nice, if not generic, things to say in this piece but I fear that your pacing does not help the enhanced enjoyment of the reader. I hope you don't feel I'm being overly tough on you. I see promise and I want to be there when it truly blossoms.
Your buddy,
Pete
And you shall
What you think about, you bring about.
Dear Pete,
I feel the intent You are my first mentor really. So say on. I have tweeked and polished this as well. Generic isn't always bad, it's cheaper LOL
Sincerely,
Debborah