Standing there, my red gown flowing down to the floor.
The shards of my brokenness all around my feet.
I know if I take a step I will cut myself.
I try not to move, I hesitate more… time passes, I don’t know how much
I begin to realize I’m being very, very still and very, very quiet. I know I am afraid.
I begin to realize that I am not just standing there, I am hiding there.
I come to awareness like coming out of a fog for just a moment and the fog comes back.
I think I may have been here near to a life time.
Where is this? I cannot see.
My eyes are closed tight.
My arms wrapped in front of me to protect my breasts, my heart, but no, they didn’t, did they?

It went by so fast.
I can still hear the explosion in my ears.
Not feeling but fleeing down inside myself.
The shattering went into my head and resounded.

Now, I stand here.
What can make this moment last.
This moment where I know where I am?
Where I know what is around me?
All is quiet now- I think, yes, I am breathing.
I remember the pain, I heard the shot whirring in the air, I heard it all like a million crystals exploding, my heart.
Yes, I am breathing still…so How am I still here?
How is there a way to survive and more than survive, breathe easier?
I open my eyes and glance around me.
I hear my heart beating in my chest.
I see the razor sharp barbs on the floor.
How long? I can take a step between two pieces there only if I keep my eyes open.
So what happened? I am ok.
I am now, finally wanting to move away form the scene of this great tragedy.
What was it that broke?
Was it something that protected my heart or restricted it?
I may never know.
What I know is that this hiding place is not for me anymore.
Gently, looking down, I take a step, then, walk away from the pieces of my old self.
Now stepping on into this new place where I may move and needn’t hide anymore.