So, Leo heads for the second day of Sex Ed after spending 55 heart-pounding minutes in Environmental Science staring at the bump on the back of Connie Mantodea's sweater where the hook ends of her bra converge, trying to figure out how they do it in the movies. He finds best bud Fred nonchalantly chewing his lip while studying his shoes and sideglancing the charts Mr. O has flipped open to display, respectively, the male and female reproductive systems. Leo is busy superimposing Connie's angel-eyed face and model-slim legs over the anatomical representation on the right, when his brain finally tunes in to Mr. O's drone that courtship may be a hazardous undertaking for the male when the female may grab the male and eat him from the head end in approximately 31% of matings and he flashes back to the funerals of two uncles, four cousins and his older brother Mike, where it seems to Leo that the coffins were a tad bit too short for their comfort and then about those hardly noticed before but now that I think about it really nasty-looking spines on Connie's once desirable front legs.

Fred leans over to a now-blanching Leo and whispers, "She'd better be worth it."

April, 2006