Paid to be Funny - III

 
Originally posted in Pffa in Humo[u]r.

LATE CALL

Who’s this? It’s after midnight! Calling who?
What Feast of Blood? What Cave? What Fiery Rhumba?
How dare you call me beast! I ought to sue!
No, cretin, this is six six FIVE. Wrong number.

      2005
     

Originally posted in Pffa in Challenges in the thread Clerihews.

CLERIHEWS

Charlton Heston
was rarely seen in a western.
He goyed it up in such poses
as Ben Hur and Moses.
     

Beatrice Portinari
would have been drowned out by history’s charivari
had she not made Dante
randte.
     

Stephen Jay Gould
after his ardour had cooled
reckoned the elephant
was irrelephant.

      2005
     

Originally posted in Pffa in Humo[u]r.

IN AN IRISH PUB

Says Biddy, Patriarchy, nyet!
We’ll swap it for the other -
The child should first and always get
the surname of the mother!

Says Seamus, Men are to the front -
it follows history's rules.
There is, m’ dear, no Clan O’Cunt,
so we are all O’Tools.

      2006
     

fiery

I can hardly wait for Paid IV. Let's have more from the irish pub.

lolololololol

gypsy-switched
there once was a lady from ipswitch
who constantly coveted lipsticks
on mirrors she wrote
while on toilets (end quote)
she infarcted and nobody wished it.

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