Go Ahead and Judge Me

I'm told I created drama
making people think I was crazy,
which is probably true
but to me it's still hazy.

It must have begun
when life as I knew it ended,
keeping up the happy facade
could no longer be pretended.

Always trying to fix things
that were not in my control
and the constant failures
had finally taken their toll.

Succumbing to defeat
causing me to crash and explode
the future damage sustained
was that of an implode!

The switch had been flipped
and my whole being had changed,
those who didn't know me
judged me as deranged.

Not knowing I was damaged
by things they'd never understand,
assuming the irrational behavior
is something I planned.

Had they known how wounded
I really was on the inside
it would've been understood
I wasn't thinking of my pride.

I only wanted to stop the pain
that was tearing me apart,
doing so I did things
that were not very smart.

But I finally saw the "light"
and have begun to heal,
pondering this past year
has been totally surreal.

It's true that I did things
that blow even my mind.
but I hold steadfast in the fact
that I am genuinely kind.

So go ahead and judge me
way up there on your high horse.
and hope like hell you never stray
from your flawless course!