Let's not kid ourselves
Change is hard
Time is approaching fast
Make a decision
Without risk there's not
A chance of a greater reward
Forgive me for being cynical
But that includes failure.

You're a free-wheeling spirit
It's quite admirable
Wish I could be like you
But it would be mere window dressing
There's no guessing with me
Methodical and detailed
Pondering the unknown
Until nothing is accomplished
Save for the same old dreams
Spoken profoundly
Never acted on...

I'm scared, anxious, trepidatious
Stems from a childhood need
I thought was met
The concept of security
I can't wrap my arms around blind faith
Perhaps, that's why I've always been late
For greatness
Just in time to be second best
I'm so stressed
I crave some serious rest
Relaxation is anathema to
A man always plotting
To avoid fear.

My instincts are kicking in
Just not ready to start over
Fresh
Unless my ducks are in a row
I may join you under the desert sun
But the days of appeasing someone
Just to avert conflict
Are over
I barely survived those days
They won't be repeated yet
I don't want to lose you
I would despise the thought of
Being enemies
Love you too damn much
It can't, won't happen
I'm sorry for letting you down
But to go against what I believe
To be best
Would be a vicious lie
And you my dear
Are worth more then a canceled check
Foisted upon a gullible sucker
God, If I could muster the strength...

P-Oct 17, 2007/Westlake