Alternating between sadness and anger
You know the reasons why
If I were able to cry
I might not return to shore
We were supposed to die
As man and wife
Yet I was subconsciously
Plotting our demise
Now I'm reeling
And obsessed with keeping you
Alive in my mind
But as I carry on
With this pathetic state of affairs
You're already thinking ahead
Making plans and I'm terrified
That you'll forget about me...

I can keep myself distracted
For only so long
A skill you've mastered
But this pain ain't leaving anytime soon
No matter how I try to avoid it
Healing is gradual
Time is subjective
How can you sit there contented
While I'm tearing my hair out
Refusing to accept what betrayal is all about?
Even Buddha would be jealous
Then again, my track record has been less then stellar
Assumptions are a poor substitute for the real truth
But one thing I can say
Is I screwed up and I'm sorry
Is it worth a second chance?
As I cover my ears
And close these eyes
Not wanting to hear the answer
But to see your face!
Feel your embrace!
But as the months drag by
The odds are against us
Of performing one more dance
I never wanted it to end
Despite what you contend
But as someone said
Can only go by on what I see
And If that's the truth
I'm certain you'll forget about me...

Remember words are cheap
As this separation has taken
Quite a bite out of me
Regrets sill hungry
Hearts very heavy
Soul nearly empty
And I'm tired of being entrenched in a war
Between melancholy and bitterness
Lord, let me find a middle ground
To rest my weary head upon
Cynicism unfortunately reigns
Lovers no more and no matter
How honorable we are
The more we push it away
You'll have no other choice
But to forget about me
And there's not a damn thing I can do...

P-Mar 17, 2008.