My affairs are a financial mess
When the next meal is coming
Is anybody's guess
I'm selling all my earthly possessions
Judge me as a drug fiend
Yearn for a simple life
But my "prized" confessions
Won't secure me a six figure advance
It barely pays for enough nicotine
To tar through a blackened lung.

Reality either bores me to tears
Or saddles me with monsterous fears
And I can't get out of bed
Without a first thought left unsaid
You would think survival counts for something
But, I'll settle for anything just to smile
Yet, I retreat into silence at the threat
Of a cancerous mind game.

I asked you for my help
But refusal is meant to teach me a lesson
It leaves you with bitterness
As I grant you contempt
Emptiness shows no signs of relenting...

Feb '03-Ronan Rd