en route from
reno
nevada
to cathedral city
california
i fell into
a fearful state
full of painful
memory

i was on my way
to see
my
father
after one score
and five years
apart

he was a
beast

daily verbal blows
and those
with
closed fist
left me loathing
self
life

and
him

yet now
i cross a nation
to see him
on his
dying bed

just because he
asked

why

he has mom
to
thank

incapable of
grudge
revenge
or hatred
she said

he is your father

so i went

i am
afraid
as i reach the
hospital
the frank sinatra
wing

palm springs
actually

entering an antiseptic
room
i see my
father
vulnerable

self administered
morphine
cannot prevent
recognition
of his oldest
son

toothless smile
foggy eyes
unshaven face

he speaks my
name

"frankie"

and
i fear no more

i shave him
read him scripture
and
kiss him

i feel love
and
liberation

thank you
mamma
i have learned
forgiveness

goodbye
daddy

god bless you