Family Shame
It should never be told,I should never say
He hurt me,but I'm the one to pay
All my life I feel dirty and shame
Never asking if I should pay the price
was I the one to blame
No,I couldn't be I was just a child
Is it any wonder when I got older, I went wild
I was told if I said anything,I would go to jail
to me at 6 that ment I was bad
So for years I suffered in silence
After all he was my only Dad
I punished myself in so many ways
But it never came to light
Why should it be the child that pays
Somehow that doesn't seem right
There's scars on my wrists and
bottle after bottle of pills I have taken
Wanting so badly to go to sleep
And never again to awaken
Then came the time ,one suicide attempt to many
They wouldn't let me out
That doctor saw right through me
And knew what it was about
Punishing myself for a sin
Of which I was not to blame
Wishing I was dead,feeling pain,always quiet
To hide the family shame
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Gloria
I've read this one 4 or 5 times before since you posted it and thought several times about commenting. Now is the time!
This was a well-written piece, whether true or not. And I certainly hope not!
As you already know from my comments on Pay Back Could Be A Bitch, I have a friend who experienced sexual abuse as a child into her teens.
And yes...it changed her in a lot of ways. But she was able also to walk away with a great deal of strength and dignity.
At the age of 50, though still haunted by her ordeal, she is one of the strongest ladies I've ever met!
She takes no B.S. from anyone and is - and always has been - very protective of her own children.
She has learned to cope with her own personal abuse, and I'm proud to say...though she will never forget what she suffered...she will certainly never allow another being on this planet to mistreat her in any way!
Great poem, Freespirit! Realy hit home...as most of your poems do!
It is true
I'll admit some I write is in my head not in my life but I lived this one.From age 6 until I left home at 16 life was hell and you are right I will never allow myself to be abused again in any way.I admit what happened. I want the perverts to know it will be told .And we will not carry the shame.
Gloria
Very same age as my friend
From the time she was 6 till she ran away from home.
She was pregnant when she did, and purpousely became pregnant, hoping to escape the abuse in her home, which she kept to herself! The sexual abuse she suffered
as a child is something she shared with me privately...and it came with a lot of tears. I'll
never forget holding her as she cried the 1st time she told me!
For whatever reason, she blames herself for what happened to her, even after all these years.
But it was the monster{s} who put that notion in her head...and they are the ones who carry the shame!