I really think that he has not a clue
He glances at me with those judging eyes
To get through the day I do what I do
His heartlessness comes through as no surprise

How come it's okay
in this days society,
to drink the pain away
and not use a knife like me?

You think that I'm crazy
but you don’t understand.
I just wish that you could see,

Seeking soul mate with unusual habits,
must love frogs, cats and rabbits.
Likes to take walks in the park,
and wants to rape me after dark.

Should be familiar with bipolar,

I hold on tight
the blade is dull
my heart starts to pound.

It just feels right
dulling thoughts in my skull
will it take away the sound?

My hand moves quickly
with one test slice

I'm not looking.. I'm not looking.. I'm not looking..

There are pictures posted of his life without me.

The life where he sits by another womans side and cheats death.

I cried
He did not hear

I coward
He did not notice

I screamed
He slept

I danced naked
He did not react

I chased the dragon
He looked away

I begged
He refused

I shovel a handful of nuts into my mouth
my head hurts
what time is it?
It's been six hours now

six hours ago I was selling girl scout cookies

The picture's painted perfect,
the car, the two kids and the house on the hill.
I have everything anyone could ask for,
then why the hell is my heart so ill?
Always a problem and never a fix

Should love really be this hard
Twelve years of silent pain
the accusations, the suffering
the lies...
the words that couldn't be contained

There's times I get so angry

I'm quite sure that the remnants of my heart and the fragile remains of my life are in the hands of an evil mastermind who's made up his mind to drag me through the most excruciating and unimaginable