Escape to silence
I hold on tight
the blade is dull
my heart starts to pound.
It just feels right
dulling thoughts in my skull
will it take away the sound?
My hand moves quickly
with one test slice
then I start to see the blood.
The noise falls through me
it feels quite nice
I did it and I knew I should.
Another test
test two and three
now I better stop.
Just look at the mess
will someone see?
Now where Did I put that mop?
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Unsure?
I read this a few times, and kept finding the ending funny, I'm not sure if you meant it like that, but that is how it came over to me, I'm sorry if I have misinterpreted this.
Andrew
Thanks
That helps confirm my thoughts about not liking the ending. Perhaps a bit of writers block.. I'll have to come back to it.
Sorry
I'm sorry, I thought that may have been the case.
Take care
Andrew
On second thought
I really feel as if this conveys the tone that I was trying to portray. It's interesting to get the different reactions though... thanks again.
No, No!
The ending was great. I understood the ending line perfectly. You need not change a thing. A well written poem, full of pain and heartache. Very heart-wrenching, and yet very beautifully written. TJ
Thanks tj
I like having different feedback to reflect upon. It gives me insight as to whether or not someone understands what I meant.
I agree.
Feedback helps us to grow as an artist. But ultimately we must all rely solely upon our own inner instincts and go with the flow. What satisfies us may not satisfy another. Be satisfied with yourself. That's all that matters.