Déjà Vu ( repeating first version )
The carpet barely cleansed the sheets not burned
the towels stolen and ashtrays lost,
Makes you wonder what we have truly learned
and what is the real cost…
Of doing business…again…
Déjà vu…I see the signs…
Déjà vu…I hear the words…
Déjà vu…I lose the lines…
Déjà vu…it all just…occurs…
The perfume lingers the mini bar is locked
the ice bucket overturned,
The vending machines are barely stalked
and the taste of mint yearns…
Of home…and being there again…
Déjà vu…I see the signs…
Déjà vu…I hear the words…
Déjà vu…I lose the lines…
Déjà vu…it all just…occurs.
( Please do not use " interesting " when reviewing thank you. )
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Interesting...j/k!!!
Okay, I will not use interesting as my description of this poem. How about...fabulous? I loved this. Very nice job with the descriptions--I could just feel the emotion and feeling of frustration the narratar must feel experiencing Deja vu and reliving the past. One of my favorite topics, Deja vu. Good use of it.
Two corrections: Shouldn't there be a comman after "The perfume lingers"? Sorry, just a little nit-picky thing that bothers me. And also, I believe you mean to say "stocked" instead of "stalked" in the third stanza. Easy mistake, it's one I'd make myself =]
Good job with this piece, though.
Remember what is good for the times when it is unbearable.
wInTeR rOsE
Thanks
Punctuation can be fixed through publishing is my motto. I do appreciate you reading and reviewing. " stalked " is exactley what I meant, how many times do people keep checking vending machines to see if anything looks edible ? Thanks again for the review.