A Child, A Chalice
A child, a chalice
Filled with possibilities
Like winged seedlings
Waiting to fly and float down
And grow tall in fertile ground,
Or to fall on hard concrete
And be crushed by passing feet.
© 2008 Joyce Greene (All rights reserved)
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your words are beautiful
this is beautifuly written! i like your style of poetry because you can apply the meaning to so many different things. I really like this one.
thanks, jezza
I appreciate your positive comment. I think everyone reading a poem will come up with their own idea about what it is about, and their idea is as valid as the next person's - it all comes from life experience. I'd hate to tell someone what they should come away with. Thanks for taking the time to read my poem and comment on it!
joyce
Options, Perhaps
Joyce,
You truly narrowed the options down in this piece and it would seem that such narrow options would tend to ensure one toes the mark. I agree with the other commenter that you do leave open room for interpretation and I'm sure that frees you up from any frustration when people totally miss the mark you were aiming for.
Keep Em Coming,
Pete
right on, Pete...
I'd hate to let anyone get away with saying my poem was full of you know what! lol Really though, I guess I was using generalities to show the possibilities' vulnerability to the child's environment. I could have said that the seeds could fall into a rain puddle and drown, that would have been fun! lol It might have been harder to rhyme though. Possibility: "Or to fall in a puddle, and end up in a muddle." Not very good, I guess. It's been a long day.
Thanks for your comments, as usual. I appreciate them.
joyce
No Problem
Joyce, you know I always call em the way I see em. I like reading your pieces becasue they have real subsatance and are not just full of frivolous fluff. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good laugh but I also enjoy having to mull something over to see if I agree with it, can live with it or just totally disagree with it.
Your write em, I'll review em,
Pete
so which of your three options...
does this poem fall into? You've got me a bit confused here.
joyce
No Need For Confusion
Joyce,
I enjoyed your piece and I believe I gave you an honest take on it. When I mentioned those three things I was just trying to illustrate that I like things that make me make a decision. If I had not liked your piece or if I had a suggestion for its overall improvement I would have told you that in my initial comment. I am not shy when it comes to offering suggestions if I truly believe they can help.
After all of that pap...I agree with it!!!!
Luv ya kiddo,
Pete
I'm more of a Paula Abdul...
than a Simon Cowell, I guess. I really hate that guy!!
Constructive criticism is good - I could certainly use it - I just want the criticizer to tell me what's wrong - not just tell me I'm lousy. Specifics help.
Thanks for clarifying the sitation.
joyce
wow......
this was brilliant and very cleverly written
its so true that it all depends where and how children grow that will make them or brake them...good write!
thanks, repenter
I really like your comment, needless to say! Yes, I hate just thinking about it - maybe that's why it comes out in my poetry. Thanks so much for your comment.
joyce
A Brief Absense
Joyce,
I won't be on site for the next five days. I am flying up to North Carolina to spend Father's Day with my dying son and two of my grandsons. I probably won't be back on site until sometime on Tuesday of next week. I'm sure the site will enjoy the fact that I won't be flooding it with more of my stuff for a while.
Talk to ya when I get back,
Pete
I'll miss you, Pete
I hope all goes well with your son. I pray for him. And enjoy your grandsons.
joyce
Thanks a Million
I'll miss our little get togethers as well.
where do you get them?
Hi Joyce -- This poem has truly striking images, like so many of yours. I love both the chalice reference and the seedling one. Maybe another time you could develop the religious side of the chalice reference, possibly in a Buddhist/unity of nature kind of way. --MS
thanks for your kind words, MS
I appreciate your taking the time and effort to create such interesting comments. Thanks a million!
joyce