An Overture to Beauty
An overture to beauty,
A tree’s orchestra
Preluding ecstasy
Spring green leaves,
Gloriously bathing
In clear golden light
Dancing, partnered
With tiny gliders,
Winged on gentle updrafts,
Under the swaying,
Sunlit canopy
Rising higher, lifted
By slender arms
To wave sensuously
And beckon
Strolling clouds
Catching virgin breezes
In uninhibited embraces
Rejoicing,
Impassioned with life
© 2008 Joyce Greene (All rights reserved)
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I like
the images and how you put your words together, I like how it reads. raskin
thnaks, raskin...
I have learned a lot reading your poems on nature - the one about reeds was really something! I am trying to be more free flowing. Thanks so much for your kind words.
joyce
i love watching the tree as
i love watching the tree as the wind blows into it..enjoyed this poem too.mimi
thanks, mimi...
Thank you for your nice comment, mimi. I have always wanted to write a poem about a tree, and yesterday afternoon I saw a gloriously light green tree lit by a special light through my sunglasses, and I was inspired. A poet can not do justice to one of God's most beautiful creations!
joyce
Beautiful!
Your 'Overture To Beauty' is simply, beautiful!
Dave
a beautiful write
Joyce I think this is the best you have written I loved it ,I am back but just to comment ,not to write hugs from Willow
thanks, willow...
Your compliment means a lot to me!! I have admired your soft touch with nature poems since I first read your work and have learned so much! Thank you for those inspiring poems and for your constant support, my friend.
joyce
thanks, Dave...
Thank you so much, my friend. As you can see, I am trying to branch out... lol Getting away from the tanka sometimes!
joyce
A Gentle Read
Joyce,
You have written a wonderfully relaxing piece here and the visuals are superb.
Pete
Thanks, Pete...
Thanks for your kind input. I have made a couple of changes for consistency. I appreciate any comments you might make - "Short Circuit" is one of my all time favorite movies!
joyce
Beautiful!
Joyce -- This is a lovely read. I particularly liked the lines "Catching virgin breezes/
In uninhibited embraces". I have some comments, but they are purely a matter of taste -- it's great the way it is. Do the seed pods appear at the same time as the first leaves of spring? As I recall, they come later. I think if you said "Summer's green leaves" it would read just as well and maybe even better as you would have the second "s" sound working for you. Also, why do you have one line standing alone, and other stanzas with two, three, or more lines? I can't really see a reason to separate "Spring green leaves" from the next two lines, for example. Finally, I would suggest changing "Under the swaying/ Of the leafy canopy" to "Under the sway/ Of the leafy canopy." That "ing" sound jarred a little. -- MS
thanks again, for your nice comments...
and constructive criticism.
I prefer spring because of the unique green of a spring tree. Also, pollen glides and gets its wings from breezes in the springtime and birds, too, are winged gliders. I was envisioning all the life floating under a tree's canopy.
I will change the positioning of the "Spring green leaves," and will take out the "Of the" in the line describing the tree's canopy. Hopefully this makes it clearer.
joyce
spring green
You're right, it is particularly beautiful. And now I understand that "glider " can be anything that flies through the air in the spring. Heaven knows, there's a lot out there! I like the new line about the swaying sunlit canopy -- it works well. This is a really lovely read, one of your best. -- MS
thanks, MS
I worked with the idea that that line just wasn't working before and so changed it quite a bit, and hopefully that resolved that issue! That was a very good comment on your part. It's hard to see your poem objectively because you're emotionally involved with it. Thanks for spending the time to let me know.
joyce
reads well, pleasing picture
reads well, pleasing picture created
thanks, so much
I'm glad you liked it. There's nothing like a tree!
joyce