My exploits inane
Drove my parents insane
Made my girl leave
So to relieve
I turned to a bottle
And although I would waddle
Never have i felt
So sociably svelte
Saw things more clearly
Perceived love more dearly
Nothing good gets off lightly
So I was punished forthrightly
Locked up in a cell
Living a hell
Anguish on earth
Less room than pre-birth
So when I was elected
Some say resurrected
To go on with the life
Yet much like Lot’s wife
Was made something bitter
Was changed to a quitter
Lost faith in the ulterior
Foresaw it inferior
Thought myself superior
And with my interior
Sought to destroy the external
Now being nocturnal
When the moon was just so
I set off to go
And make love to a wall
So that Death could haul
My body athwart
The river Styx
One of the fates picks
And I could boast
As I reached the far coast
That the devil in flesh
Would acquire me fresh
Because once my doom was detected
I’d be the one he personally collected
For his mantle as a prize
This would give rise
To good conversation starters
And maybe some nether worldly barters
For I am the white whale
The elusive to unveil
Much more than a tale
Or a legend gone stale
But it wasn’t my time
So I speak in a rhyme
To taunt those who seek me
To belittle who bespeak me
The gods may be stronger
But they must wait
At least one more day longer