A Connection
I feel a connection don't you?
I know you do its hanging between us
You have to see it
Because if you don’t,
I'm just torturing myself
Don’t you see?
Its right there
You don’t understand
I need you,
I know you feel the same.
Do you feel it?
You bring me hope
Don’t take it away
I need that hope,
I need a connection with you.
- Kharas's blog
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Don't be "to" harsh
Sir or Madam;
I am not a recognized poet in the English language.I am learning.With these pre-conditions I will be so bold as to critique your work.
Your poetry reads like a suicide note.You are "bleeding" all over the paper.I believe if what you write is gleaned from observation,rather than personal experience,you will have the detachment necessary to produce a poem of some consequence.You certainly have the talent necessary to "turn a phrase"
Forgive my presumptions in this matter
your obdt svt,
Ngaio Beck
Wow
Youre amazing at that just from reading a poem I wrote you got quite alot out of it and I am glad you gave feedback and yea my poems are not through personal experence but I do put all my feelings into them, they are more like fantasys to me.
again thankyou for your responce : )