summer...blah!
The sickly smell of summer
emmitating out of all these flowers
The white and the yellow
It just chokes you when you walk by them
the flies and the bees and the bugs in this breeze
just sickens my senses, my breathing, my seeing
And why with these senses haywire already
Would the sun decide to shine on me so heavy
This is unbearable, the heat and the bugs
The sick smell of flowers
and the taste of love
Blah!
I prefer winter above summer by far
a cup of hot chocolate, and a fire with some logs
a blanket and a friend
or a girl in a bed
now thats love, my friends
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I Really Liked..
This write kornelias, along with the title. Great descriptions you have used here, and it evoked memories for me of blazing hot summers aswell as the benifits of Winter.
I also drew a comedy element from this which i liked very much.
Debs x
Thanks Deb
i really appreciate your comments, and i noticed that when you do comment, the poem becomes a hit (you should comment on more of them :)
It comes to show that time doesnt make a poem perfect; i did this in about 5 minutes before going to my next class.
Hope to get more feedback, theirs plenty of more poems to come!
yours truly,
Kornelis Mwangi
Its funny...
Sometimes poems, work like that. Ive done 5 minitue writes aswell and thev'e evoked a certain response from some. Others iv'e flogged away at for hours and never had a single comment. I believe that we are not always the best judges of our work, and that people often see what we dont, within our work.
It can also depend upon, how any one individual is feeling that day also.
Debs x.