Starring into the blank space that is my room,
Seeing the paper on the wall,
But to me it isn’t even there… All I see is emptiness.

Try to console me,
Sit down,
Talk to me,
it doesn’t do any good…
Simply being acknowledged as alive is too much for me…
So I say nothing,
and slowly roll my body into the crevase where the wall meets the bed,
and I hang there for the slowest seconds,
because the pain,
the inability to breath,
slows time to nothing,
to make sure I feel,
every aspect of it.

Laying here now,
there’s nothing left for me to do,
but cry,
quietly,
into the dark corner,
while my body rests,
lifeless,
by choice,
or was it?

Please take me now.

Kurt Ashton - www.kurtashton.com
January 10, 2008 - Written about the feelings 10 years later