Your Wanted Looks
Tommorrow I'll have courage
I think this is my chance
To strut, impress, and maybe even
Win another glance
I try to talk to you
And I feel that burning stare
My heart is pounding harder
But I act like I don't care
I lust I blush I mumble
I never get it right
The only I thing that I can do
Is stay within your sight
I crave you madly
I need you and love much too much
A note, a smile, a gesture
A gentle, tender touch
I yearn for you, I know
That this isn't just a phase
I need you, and your words
And most of all your gaze
Will you ever undersatnd
My thirst for you, my dear
That bursting-out compulsion
And my exploding fear?
I wasn't sure how to organize the stanzas... any help?
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yes
I think I have been there and done that
and you survived??
loni balogna
yup
I survived, each heatbreak can make you stronger and more independent or wipe you out.I guess you can see what I have done.I was your age devorced with 4 kids.Now I am old so are them kids.I still drive an old 83 chevy pickup with chrome wheels and straight pipes.my only advice my new friend and I hope you don't mind my giving it.It is damn nice to have a man in your life but don't make a man your whole life.It has to be a partnership
thank you!
though i'm not quite old enough to have 4 children... or any! and definitely not divorced. thank you for the advice- just knowing someone did it can make all the difference
loni balogna
I Like This
It flows well and reads easy, I think you captured the feeling of having a 'crush' on someone very well, like your minds always screaming.....Notice Me, Notice Me, Notice Me!
Good piece and I look forward to reading more from you,
Dave
thank you
i'm glad i got the feeling thru... thank you for the comment!
loni balogna
you have a fresh, young voice...
regardless of your age! I like your poems a lot, loni. Good work!
joyce
Why, though?
Why do we have to need so badly only to be let down? Has the world lost it's taste for us romantics? Just musing like I always do. I love that you get that giddy, almost sickening feeling of desire across so well with this. Excellent!
You can meet God in the church of your choice
You can meet Woody Guthrie in Brooklyn State Hospital
You know, it's only my opinion, I may be right or wrong
But you can find both in the Grand Canyon at sundown
-Bob Dylan
thank you!
both joyce+ta2dlam: thanx for reading and commenting on my poem! I hope there is still room for romane in this world... I'm glad I got the feeling across.
loni balogna
loni, great write!
everything looks like its in the right place to me....
nice poem and heartfelt!!!
Linda
:)
thanks!
there's a lot of backing to the heartfelt-ness...
loni balogna
nice......
you asked about the stanzas......I think they're fine and what ever sounds right to you is what you should leave ................you described human nature and how we feel when we are in love so well....nice write.peace.
thanks!
i guess poetry is all about listening to yourself, but second-guessing is very tempting...
peace
loni balogna
crush?
excellent...