The criminals worked extra hard
To make sure they weren’t caught last night
Their plans were changed then changed again
And routine jobs were run so tight

An extra eye was cast across

As close as both a spoon and bowl
Your happiness my only goal
Though time away tears me apart
I know you’re still there in my heart

We’re meant to be like sand and sun

They stop
And stare

Taunted eyes look up
Evil eyes look down

Legs quiver
Knees knock
Hairs rise
Adrenaline rushes

No fight, just flight
Though currently impossible

As children spot

A bright and sunny day entices the housewife
With piles of wet washing
She makes for the line taking her pegs
And, sure enough, as her last piece is hung
A mass of black cloud spreads over her

With just a pair of trunks attached
You dive in to the chilly pool
And swim lengths ‘til it’s nearly time
To get out and go back to school

But then you stop the exercise

Fifteen across: a bovine beast
That sees a field as one green feast
Three letters: Blank, Oh, Double Yew
And then I’ve solved the final clue

It sees grass as a meal? That’s cheap

A little buoy had come of age
And reached a fairly awkward stage
He wanted to go out at night
Which gave his folks an awful fright

His mum told him he must stay put

I’m going to stay up ‘til midnight
It’s the first time that I’ve been allowed
It’s New Year’s Eve and the TV’s on
As my parents don’t like me in crowds

The traffic cop has got one aim
The traffic cop sees you as game
The traffic cop is hunting you
The traffic cop knows what to do

The traffic cop will hide away

The spider crawls across the floor
Beside my leg and past the door
He's eaten by a hiding rat
Who chokes upon our kitchen mat

They both then die and spider finds

Baby Smiles
Baby Frowns
Baby Laughs
At the clowns

Baby sleeps
Baby plays
Baby tips
Baby’s tray

Baby drinks
Baby’s glum
Time to change
Baby’s bum

The show starts and he jumps on stage
His new guitar within his hand
The drumsticks clack – one, two, three, four
Then music plays out from his band

He belts out classics from his past

Uncle Bob
Comes around
Pushes me
To the ground

Kicks my ball
Laughs at me
Traps my kite
In a tree

Lets my dog
Cross the road
Screams at my
Poor pet toad

Hits my legs
With a gate

Soaps seem so unrealistic
From the character’s point of view
So much happens to them each day
They wouldn’t survive what they do

Take Flo from the soap ‘The Midlands’

Pink elephants
And orange bats
Mauve kangaroos
And yellow cats

Turquoise badgers
And day-glo bugs
Crimson horses
And navy slugs

Dark green giraffes
With light green chins