My monster watches me from the darkness where
I have kept it hidden and fed with my despair
Its hunger is forever as long as I remain alive
And its purpose is quite selfish wanting only to survive
It gnaws on broken promises and chews upon my grief
My monster feeds on solitude and knows when my belief
Of my own ability to keep it out of sight
Fails to assure me there are no monsters in the night
It then whispers softly so only I can hear
Its voice is soft and soothing as it preys upon my fear
“Let me stand beside you” I imagine it to say
“If you let me I can help make all your troubles go away”
“Close your eyes allow the darkness to fill your weary soul”
My monster’s eyes then sparkle with desire for control
It speaks the truth for surely if I succumb I will be lost
I will no longer feel and such will be the cost
The pain of my self-pity will no longer make me cry
As well the pleasure of self worth will then also die
I would then wander listless forever till the end
In an empty world of self-deceit which my monster would defend
But I will not surrender no I'll not yet yield
It will not defeat me as long as it remains concealed
My monster is however always within view
If I am to be honest then I cannot lie to you
Look closely and perhaps you’ll see the scars I will not hide
They are remnants of a challenge when my monster was denied
I once lived a life which did not allow for turmoil from within
I was unaware my monster then was causing me to spin
Beyond my own ability to hold onto any hope
I did not recognize it I had no way to cope
With the lies it murmured in my mind filling me with doubt
I had no way of knowing it was my monster striking out
There came a time when it crossed a line I did not see
As it rushed forward with a vengeance almost breaking free
I then became a witness to a battle waged in silence
Now I remain a victim of my own internal violence
My monster required my attention but I was blind indeed
I never paid it any mind I did not feel the need
It is only now that I realize how foolish self-delusion
Can create a world where monsters are only an illusion
These scars you see are reminders that for me at least
I will forever have inside me a living breathing beast
But now I know all too well that I must sacrifice
And sometimes feed my monster or once more pay the price
For failing to acknowledge it’s a part of who I am
The irony is my monster wants me to give a damn
For when I wish to make an effort show how much I care
And find that I am alone when no one comes to share
The burden that I choose myself though I never ask
For anyone’s assistance accomplishing my task
My monster in the shadows will whisper selfishly
“I will never leave you Michael come to me”