When alone
In silent night
In dark despair
Where spirit flies
From searching light
From those who care
Dare open eyes
To blinded sight
To soul laid bare
Spare your disguise
For love’s respite
For love’s repair
There realize
When you re-unite
When you learn to share
Forswear the lies
You'll be alright
You'll hear my prayer
Ere the sun's rise
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Well done!
I really enjoyed this. Simple rhymes, great word play, and a sincere theme.
I did, however, find the last stanza a bit awkward...particularly the last line. That aside, good job!
thanks.
I had a bit of a problem with the last line. Took me weeks to finish and I am still not satisfied. Any suggestions?
changed it at last
The last line reads better now as opposed to Ere morn's sunrise. I just need a new view to see it
possibly
I wonder if the last stanza's rhythm might flow better with contractions:
You'll be alright
You'll hear my prayer
and possibly on the last line:
to heaven rise
or
to the heavens rise
You really captured a mood and message with this poem. Thanks again for sharing.
contractions
They do seem to flow better. Thanks again.