Poem for Kalea Danielle
Sometimes I wonder why could life be so mean
Having you for such a short period of time
For Twelve weeks inside of me
You were created out of love
From Daddy who have long to meet you
From Mommy who have waited for a girl

I wish I had made you proud of me
For loving you more than life itself
Coz I knew the risk of having you
but I never thought of the dangers
I just prayed and asked for God's mercy
And left everything in God's perfect hands

How I wish I had the chance to see you grow
And to feel your sweet hugs and kisses
To cuddle you, to feel you & to hear you
How I wish I could have seen your pretty face
How you would look like when you become 1
How I wish you could have your Daddy's eyes
Coz I have loved them since the day I met him

How I wish you could have my wisdom
So you could be strong & witty all your life
How I wish you could have played with your brothers
And enjoy your childhood years with them
And feel the warmth of their love for you
How I wish you could have seen the beauty of life
And experience great joys and fun in your teenlife
How I wish you could have met your man
to have your life fulfilled & bear your own angels

From the very day I knew I was pregnant
I knew and felt that you were a girl
The fulfilment of my life
An achievement to my womanhood
Another challenge to my motherhood
A perfect expression of Darwin's love
I have tried so hard to be a perfect Mom
For you and your brothers Ken & Kei

Life is so full of colors upon knowing
that you were coming to this life
And above all, you were the child of my beloved
The man I have sworn to spend my life with
Now that you're gone, in presence maybe
But never in spirit & memories of all of us here
How I wish tears would stop rushing out my eyes
Everytime I think of you, I still feel you inside me
I will always think of the days you were with me

Now that you're an angel for us
I have sworn to love you all my life
I have promised to share the joys I felt
to all my dear loved ones and friends
when you were still inside my womb
You have given me the enlightment
As I have promised to myself
to give you a HOME full of love

To show you the light of the day
The sweet smell of the flowers
The wonders of nature
The greatness of our Creator
That you are a perfect creation
I will have you feel the magic of living
That we'll walk along the bay
Play in the parks & wildlife
Spend Christmases with our dear ones
Wish good life for the coming new years
And celebrate joyfully your birthdays

You're a definition of perfect love
A picture of innocence
An image of joy & happiness
by the name I have given you
Kalea means joy & happiness
Danielle is your Dad & Mom's name
combined together to represent
that you're the love-child of us

I waited for May 19, 2008
The day you're supposed to be born
the day when i will see your face
the day when i will hear your first loud cry
the day when i will breastfeed you
and feel you so close to me
and feel that you are really mine
my very own flesh and blood
the day i will touch your cute little hands
the day i will kiss your tiny feet
see your sweet little smile
and feel your soft skin on my cheeks
The day Daddy would be so proud
That he has a wonderful child
And your brothers to love you forever

I long for the day when i will hear you
say your first words calling me Mama
when you utter your first Dada
and when you taste your first solid food
when you first stand up and walk
when you first jam in with your brothers
when you first ride your bicycle
run & get dirty in the parks with us
watch the cherry blossoms on spring time
go to the beach on summertime
see the falling dry leaves on autumn
and create a snowman on winters

these are just some of the dreams i have
for you while you grow up
but God didn't allow these to happen
God has a different plan for us
He had made you stay in my womb for 3 months
To experience everything I need to feel
How to be a mother again on different aspect
As a mature person now, as the head of the family now
Without Daddy around us
That made me so strong & patient

And God took you away from us
So you will be our angel in heaven
To protect Daddy while he's been away at the sea
To give me strength all the days I'm doing my duties
To guard your big brothers Ken & Kei
To play with your expecting cousin Keidi in dreams
And to join our beloved Dad Pol in heaven

You were with me for such a period of time
And will always be remembered & loved
all the years, all the months, all the days
all the hours, minutes & seconds of my life
Wishing that someday, somehow you would come back
In a perfect little package of love from God
I love you my sweet little angel ...