They want to hand it to us
upon a silver platter,
but even though they've screwed us all
that really doesn't matter.
We'll find a way to lose the race
though that might seem erratic.
That's just the way we do things
because we're Democratic.

We'll find a way to disenchant
all those who cast a vote.
We'll be like drifting sailors
drilling holes in our one boat.
The sharks are swarming 'round us
out in that angry sea.
But when I sink below the waves
you'll be going down with me.

We'll challenge young Obama
upon his patri'tism,
even if that should result
in Democratic schism.
Gently we will whisper that
his middle name's Hussein
even though that matters only
to all those with little brain.

"Hillary's too girlie,
plus she's such a whinner,
on CNN we all saw how
she webt inside that diner!"
We'll claim one day she's weak,
the next that she is heartless.
The voters can't make up their minds
like beans that claim they're fartless.

"Obama is a racist!
Did you hear his pastor's sermon?"
We'll make him disavow the man
or we will have him squirmin'.
Then later on his loyalty
we'll say has failed the test.
"That is not a true heart that's
a beatin' in his breast!"

As for Hil, about her man
we'll spread some real malarkey.
We'll say he's just a two-faced fraud,
a left-wing Joe McCarthy.
We're sure to find some words
that we can twist and bend,
and make believe they tell of thoughts
that really do offend.

We'll say Obama's Muslim.
"He's not one we can trust!"
"Is Hillary a lesbian?
I think for girls she lusts!"
"Obama doesn't say the pledge!"
"Hil is always lyin'!"
"Socialistic medicine both say
we should be tryin!"

And so we have a plan now
that we can put in action.
We'll ignore what makes us Democrats
and split up into factions.
That House of White that could be ours
we'll turn down with much thanks.
Then John McCain can fill Iran
with countless U.S. tanks.