I put on
A $400 hideousness
For you
Miss jolly Christmas menace,
My oblong mirror before me
Confesses your screaming holiday consumerism
Shames my ostentacious visage

I envision
A scorching soiled land
Of tragic, starving kids
On their parched knees crawling
For they have no energy
To stand up on their feet
Feet so tiny and dusty, eyes so big and clear

The woman in the mirror
Is a sinner, with her $400 coat
How much delectable warm food could one trade
With this worthless, extravagant wastage?

Shall flagrant sinner lady in her $400 coat
Be stomped, stoned, laughed at and dumped in a pit?

Look at your face!
Deformed with that fidgety half-circled smile
You inform me
It was very very difficult
Finding a Christmas present
For my tiresome, dry, little soul

Without a word,
I peel off your $400 worm

You take it home, my love
Groom it with an iron,
Feed it expensive peanuts
And sing it jingle bells
For I know that the day will never come
I will not feel delinquent
In that heartbreaking gift of yours.