No I will not and can not do this again!
they all sat at the dinner table
Family, I guess they ate for free
poor me loss my appetitie again
'Cause Aunt Millie and Uncle Sam
Always said, granny is such a good
cook, we should leave her tip at
the dinner table...

Why must everthing be so tallied
Up to date, present and counted
I guess when she left with a few knifes,
kept at the table of rose magic
I wonder if Aunt Millie does that in public...

Cinderella lace stained with
Cranberry juice; friends talk and I
Well I, at any rate, try to listen
And so on and on and on

How they ramble before they
Stole a grin off my face as my
Senile Aunt put two forks in her purse
Thought I didn't see her, trip city

And why does she compare Jackie O
to Mrs. Clinton...well that ain't so bad
But, then my foot stompin grandpa
Begins to hit a tune and clap his hands

Then my next door neighbor serves
And yes I feel we all deserve, yes!
I was afraid to tell the one sane person
I actually might vote for Mrs. Clinton
You will never see such big eyes again

Then they all began to clamor,
The drama queens rolled a few nice dittys
off their tongues, well I hope they don't kill him
Well, that would be why I wouldn't vote for him
Keep him safe and save him for his children!

The white wash came as Crystal smiled
Chile you so green, let him die with the rest
Suddenly my temper became rampant with (?)
Well anyway, we are all a little nuts at this table
Guess whose coming to dinner?

Suddenly, I must hush it, so I yelled
Shut up, Crystal and she threw
The mashed potatoes at my head
as they dripped unto my tie and down
Further into my soup! So be it!

So, Crystal is not known for her charm
Or wit, she just throws it out so I said,
You know, if a lady is elected president,
It may open a route for a Black man to
Be elected after she serves her term

Do you think voters will become more liberal
My perfectly good question, she says:
You are crazy aren't you: You jesta stupid boy!
I took the catchup bottle and squirted it at her
Blonde wig, and she just snapped her fingers!

Now I just really gotta get out of this
Soon grandma comes in and say, yall
behave yourselves or I'll throw the apple pie
Away down yonder in the trash can
Everyone went totally insane, and not
A sound could be heard not even Crystal
Thank God! Cause it was comin! Apoligize!
Or else: Put ice cream on my apple pie
granny, cousin Crystal shouted wiping the
Catsup off her second hand dress, paisely!

So I said, is that how you white wash your life,
with vanilla ice cream, blonde wigs and pink
lipstick! Then it happened: You silly freak!
How could we be related: Well do you want
me to let the cat out of the bag: I heard
You were found out there in a garbage can
Granny found you, gave you a bath, tried
to make something of your sordid life

And then suddenly, she wept, broke down
Started to frown, and said: If you say
that again you will be sorry! I'll try to
Get along Crystal, but you know it won't
Be easy, tell me, where did you get those
earfreaks, they just seem to dangle to infinity...

Suddenly the hot coffee came down my back
She quickly got up from her chair, and said
We won't need to drink this with the apple pie
Cause, I'm put all the black back on you!

World War III broke out at the dinner table
Well guess whose coming to dinner?
Grandma stood up with her cane
Children, children, now this has got to stop
She and I said in unison: Well who the hell
is coming to dinner?

I don't know: I think it was the name of a movie,
or something? You know what, but you two
farts are better than any movie I've ever
recalled: You two nuts better clean up
this mess!

One thing for sure, ya sho must be related:
Why don't we call this movie
"White Wash", cause when I wake
up in da mornin' my lace antique table
Cloth had better be spotless stainless
And White Washed!
Cause I'm an expert on dirt!
Well Crystal how dirty do you wanna get?
Say one more thing to me, and I'll...

I'd say yall gots yall work cut out for you, that's for sure!
I ain't playin' or two kissin' cousins' gonna get locked out!
HunnHHHHaaa, think I'm jokin'
Think I didn't know 'bout, yall! Ha, Ha,
Yall is real political!

"This is only the primary, but who ever is elected president
does get some respect at this table, now you two clean
this mess!"

Crystal and I are first cousins! When we were in our
late teens my senile Aunt caught us in bed having sex,
she promised to never tell granny, but....
Crystal thinks I told granny and I never did,
Now why would I tell my own grandmother I'm
screwing my cousin! Now she get an "f" for politics~!
My thoughts run in many directions, and she is so weird!
She's tried to kill me two or three times I'm sure
Thinking of how much I've always loved her...
"Now the election is coming up
Well Crystal who ya voting for?"
It sure in the hell ain't you! It took Uncle Sam a while
but he finally made it over to my side of the table
and poored ice water down my back as the tears
formed in the corners of my eyes.I really liked
Crystal, but stuff happens...

Aunt Mildred turned to Gramps, interesting dinner
conversation, don't you think, Sam? As she
swiped a cloth napkin and put in her purse
along with the napkin ring,
Every year, Granny can never figure out
what's happening to her finery!

The end!