My own self
was a haunting word
it was a predicament
it was a glory from God verb

Then I awoke
from my sleep
of the subconscience
in the past yes I did speak

The trap door
left by the few
yes to search the past
the asked, found, and confessed foreknowledge
cross canceling the sinful implemented truth

Seeking the present barn then
a final test that prudence may as the sun come

Knocking then unto the future
as I also did run

Assuredly in this
there was resistence

therefore I beat the ground
and did not cast off His abundantly above

But the trap door was set and left
still not sacrificing His Promises in the clefts

This is done through again keeping love, faith, and hope
saying that there is another way still
even if I am cut off
though unto the light that is darkness
I seem as a liar
and one who can not cope

Because this even more
shone the light
darkness being exposed
for God's surety was now fully mine

In this
this morning I awoke
and it dawned on me
how is it that I have had the veil of Jezebel over my eyes?

How is it
that Aphrodite
was the bar as to how beauty was comprised?

My first defense
in my preparation of the way
was to say that beauty was inward
but even in this
I had to deal with how that still didn't actually praise

Back and forth I went
in the painful to and fro
against which Job prayed

My second defense
was that any flaws
are just marks of beauty
even to say
that I could still exchange
be there any thoughts still that remain

beauty for ashes
commanding light
and creating things

But these things still fell short
because the foundation was sand
but I had to know for sure
and in faith cleaned the sand away

For if there had been a stone
under that field
I would have lost
and found only the rope
of Judas' heel

I didn't really believe
that these lacking attempts to surmise
were really the truth
but as I have said in another place
I didn't have enough yet to prove

Therefore I cultivated
and made good soil

and in perfect due time
I died to the idol
though I also still just received
that the idols aren't just forbidden fruit
they are false completely

In this
there is a treasure that I found
the field was made fit
and I am ready to build on the Rock
on the solid ground

a precious pearl I have seen
I sold all of my things and property
from my beginning
from partial to whole
including all of this recently
even to ensure
the field of which I bought
the field of which I prepared
also being delivered as Lot

I have found true beauty
in the spirit and the flesh
I don't know how to say this
but I still was not perfectly ready yet

What I mean
is that I hadn't proclaimed
it is not right to vainly say
that an adult is still carrying
any baby fat
or things from puberty

and this concerning also
everyone one who is His
and shall be
I say this like this
because this requires His power
and security
therefore wisdom, knowledge and understanding

the light that is darkness
which can shine in the sinful flesh
of even the saved
it determines the outcome
of all of the things we see, do, feel, and say

One day
I can be a pig faced
ex-coke head
caveman
with blackheads
and large pores
a receding hairline
needing a haircut
and toiletries

But with the Spirit of the LORD
I have beauty
and not in the senses which only taste
but fall away

What I mean
and not to scare anyone
is that even when I was on coke
I still believed

I thought it couldn't hurt me then
as since the second time I did it
I was trying to quit
but I am accountable
knowing I also would have done it anyways
and that anything that happens to me
for me to overcome
I still must know that conviction is unto repentance
though it is past sin that is displayed

But I have seen my body put on pounds
and drop them off
just based on what I believed
when belief conceived
and when the the tree drew from each seed and root
and when the foundation in Christ
is the empowering thing

I have seen the changing
of the color of my teeth
just as also Joseph was promised
and regarding back then
I don't know the extent of their hygiene

Therefore I want the eyes of love
and also I have found the perfecting and completing thing
concerning marriage
oneness means
that the other is me

This also having to do with
the oneness
which is inside of me

But what unto those not yet married?
what is the way?
for we are not of those who should walk blind
and the answer is that we are to be preparing

Hope is life
and in Jesus it is the light for us which guides
even being a lamp unto our feet
that we may still come unto perfection
though our feet may not continually be clean in time

I have also put down
though it was not the foundation
intent, motivation, desire
or inward thing

I have put down wanting sex
and also with that
more than the person

and it makes me happy

and what of not wanting the person?
is that the humility?
I tell you it is vanity
to sacrifice the promise
for truth is in knowing
that we believe
just as with Christ
whom we have not seen

And this is our life in Him
also to be appear fully at His revealing
and as we live where everything is fully continuing

But the whole word of God
which is for those who do His will
laying down their body
keeping the faith
is that Abraham and Sarah
of their earthly gift, promise, and inheritance
did receive

For if our hope is set for heaven
this is as the trap door
the assurance of His goodness
even in this land of the living
that we should do as Joash should have done
though along the way we are training
as we know what is good
but how to perform we do not find

This is why we must have His foreknowledge
abide
and run our race
knowing His severity
for Him being love is what makes His yoke easy and His burden light
and we must regard sinlessness and perfection inside

Therefore we shall go with Him
in the abundantly above
counting Him as Love
just as humility is knowing that it is His good pleasure to give us the kingdom
also knowing that every good and every perfect gift
comes down from the Father of the light which is not darkness
fom above

That is the will we are to establish here on earth
that just as we were reconciled to Him when we were sinners
how much more shall we be saved through His life
as He came to destroy the works of the devil
and give life abundantly
even today and now
that we may bear good fruit in Him
and that it may remain
for it is His great and precious promises
in which eternity, perfection, praise and glory
are undefiled
us being like Him
the rock that the church is built on
being that we can and through being continually led
be restored, and reconciled fully
also even though we have sin in our flesh
for this- the example of good, evil, immortality, incorruption, promises
and abundantly above
exceedingly
for those who love
a redemption story

I have renounced these hidden things of shame
and through the Spirit I did obey
being proven as loving
and therefore fully ready to punish all of sin's leans, claims, and schemes