Fear
I remember when it began
when He first came to me
and breathed His Spirit of power in

I lasted possibly a day or so
before the corruption had built it's place
hoping for me to be pinned
as tetris blocks
they had piled up
through the thoughts in me
that lacked knowledge
but being committed to Him
and as Ai prepared through the cross

But I didn't play their game
the Spirit
though I lacked knowledge
gave the witness of the cross

Oh the wonderful cross
in which sin is extinguished
even before all is under my feet

But Jesus' sufficiency
was in letting the harvest still grow
though the tares had come up
and I knew I could win

This fear fights my faith
this fear which also denies and lies
and is willing to do anything
this fear which also waits for me
thinking that if I fall
I will be more guilty
and it can have more the victory

I cultivate
in-between
just as I learned
knowing what quitting means

Sometimes however
I still am a dry tree
and it is as there is no source
and only to be suffering and iniquity

This is what is by sight
what is temporal

I know even just by history
that I abundantly reap

Substance is my yearning
and at times there is no vision
and I see the limitations of this body
and it's borders in hemorrhaging

Is it too coincidence
and conspiracy
that I have found God's eternity?

perhaps it is my child like dreaming
that has me bereaved

perhaps I am searching too much for what will bewilder me
and am too close to the forest and trees to see

I seem lost
and yet I know I am clean and free
for I cast my bread upon the waters
and even in this
I find the present outworkings

If only I did not effect my surroundings
for my delight is in them
according to honor, reverance, the undefiled
and purity

perfect love casts out fear
and love is perfected in the cross
and abiding in Him
calling, praying, and seeking Him in a time when He may be found
and when He is near

fear motivates witchcraft
as after pride there is the fall
after the fall lust strives
though it fears it may not be able to grasp all
control then sets in
and manipulation, and unbelief are kin
having no cares
nor attachments
nothing of which to be pinned with
the rebellion which is next
this is where the mixing is
and the rule here
is to create anything that rejoices in iniquity
though there is a veiled covering
protecting and empowering
delighting in failing even
and not until the end
for the deceived
is the confusion seen
Here are the depths of Satan
as being a sinner is the bar
out from this comes false divinity
speaking peace and safety
and the contentment with things the way they are
false humility is the matrimony of such
calling pride love
and the false display true
simplicity being the root
neither rocking the boat
nor questioning the material fruit

Nothingness is the end of these things
though hindsight still rings the sky is still blue
but it shall not be well
for this leads to the scoffing
in which false grace shall truly come to lose

Praise God for Benny Hinn
enlightening my eyes and giving me the oil as from the widow
that when I speak of Christ and all of God
meditate on Him
surely He shall move
for wisdom calls
and truth declares
and His life and light do not disappoint
His love assures as dew

Also rescuing from false divinity's false two witnesses
Hades and Death
and together as Sheol
for I want no covenant with them
I rejoice in the truth
I believe all things
sincerity rides in on a mule