O the joy of the way of love
I turned around
and saw that I still haven't found myself

To not be imputed with blame
is to receive the power of God

To be clean
holy
and godly
is to receive the knowledge of life
encompassing
without one's own strength

The mixing of faith and believing
is to then have the altar of earth and stone
at the same time

To be perfected in love
is to be turned away from one's own works
still without losing even one promise

The smoke of the incense and altar rises forever
giving love's forgetfulness of sin

Poorness of spirit
is in dying to one's self
even as breaking one's own heart
and then breaking through requiem

My first step today
was not what I thought it would be

It was a purging
one of which I didn't know I still had need

The purging was soberly delicious
and as far as I can tell
I can still lead

Then also
in holiness
and dust and ashes
before
I have spent time at the bottom
spiritually
physically
and economically

The bottom is like OCD
it is like having a thought
that doesn't go away

I've taken shots before
like today
when there was no danger
though at times,
doing so,
breaking rules of engagement

but today
I was separated from the works of those who fell away
and from my own in following
which came
and I needed to be purged
and awakened..
to do so

There is nothing more insane
then someone who does what they don't want to
as Paul said

I knew the pieces fit
and I watched them fall away

David wasn't ALL alone in the wilderness
but I half expected that today

God's will isn't to isolate
thought this at times comes into play

I know far too well
that today I was purged in the wilderness
as Satan also spewed water out at me
and then went to fight against the others who have not fallen
who keep His spiritual commands and testimonies

I'm not following just anything
internal stimulai
or anything of the like

The Holy Spirit is with me
and I can tell when my works won't have oneness
with Him
or between my insides and outsides
and this is how
today
I drew my line

Seems like much too vulgar display of power
or much too lack of safetiness
perhaps I am one in a million
or just overly spiritual

but I still have things right
even from the beginning to the end of things
daily
or more comprised..
though my spirit also cried