Who am I?

I am nothing
that is how I start out

And then I am everything
in the LORD's eyes
of my beginning- this is how

Then I am lost
and then I am found

And then the present blooms
but along with it
there are the evidences of doubt

What do I have?
the cross and life

What do I want?
the truth

And what does He give?
Promises abundantly above all that I could think or ask
in Him- things that are mine

What is the gift from God of a wife to me?
From Christ- the most valuable thing

My God dwells between the cherubim
and this has come to mean to me everything

Should I be unprofitable
with this gift?

Would be unprofitable
to esteem it
less
in any hint

I shall not have only marriage with Jesus
I shall have a wife
just like Him

Having relations
with myself?
in marriage with Jesus?
what is the fruit?
I have had enough of that