Love, it still fascinates
The evening sun sets beyond the silo and barn,
resting lightly on the fields beyond the lake,
then gone. Leaving color in its wake.
I sit outside watching the colors wash.
Sitting outside watching the colors subside,
gradually they merge and change
until finally dark takes over.
The air is warm, humid, I can hear the
birds and crickets start to sing.
The moonlight strikes the lake,
the water strikes back, glittering,
the reflection of the moon.
The show hasn't started yet,
I wait with anticipation,
witnessing the dance.
A lovers dance.
Sweet and slow
illuminated by the night.
Thinking about the day
my mind trails off in a reverie,
the days activities music
to my mind, the beat of the day.
Then my eye catches the transient light,
then another weaving in and out of the cattails,
concealing then revealing.
The luminescence comes and goes
it seems all night, they do this.
I sit and smile as I watch,
love, it still fascinates me.
- raskin's blog
- Login or register to post comments
Strong write
very good write my friend, you kept me itching just like the speaker in this piece throughout, and you did not let down at the end.
One suggestion:
Make the image of love clearer sharper, I know you wanted it to be metaphorical with light but i feel a little more solidity would do this piece its justice.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed greatly,
Bravo!
ocean
Truly majestic!
The beauty of your poem is magnificent. I am truly impressed. It certainly brings me home.
:)
Aww...this is gorgeous raskin...and love still fascinates me too...
beautiful Raskin
this was beautiful Raskin from a heart that appreciates nature and love well written I could see all you described so vividly with your well chosen words thanks for the insight from Willow
Thank you for the comments
I do love nature and enjoy watching it from my screen porch, I look forward to seeing the fireflies magic each year. raskin
fireflies
I have never had the opportunity to watch fireflies we dont have them here in the UK I dont think so anyway I would love to see them though have heard a lot about them,Your poem gave me an insight into them.a perfect written piece well done from Willow
Thank you for the comments
They are luminescent, blinking on and off through the tall grass. A transient light moving. I liken them to the little planes at night in the sky, lights blinking but fireflies are more random in their dance. They are a delight to watch. raskin
i love summer nights
and i love this poem too, very alluring. i read this and i think about what a beautiful day it was today, how the colors came together early this evening, just the way it was put in this poem, and how nightfall was just as breathtaking. reading this was a perfect way to end a day like today, so thank you.
;o) kim