The abyss
it stretches across the horizon I can see
and far beyond

There's no hint of daylight left
within the realm in which I dwell
only a cold semblance remains hung
a picture that reminds
a word that triggers a memory
submerged by choice
but never forgotten
nay , never
not ever

How can I lose the past
when it is where my spirit still freely reigns
is there any bridge between what I have become
and that world where I originated ?

Why are dreams denied me ?
how is it I still endure
far beyond everything
when all I hold dearest as treasure
has been stolen away
from my eternally pleading grasp ?

You have not forsaken me
this I know to be true
we must all exist according
to the covenant we set upon ourselves

My soul is
forever shall be
made within thine image
yet still am I cursed
but the freedom to choose
our greatest gift

My path has descended
as was my own desires fulfilled
I made decisions alone
none other has forced my hand

Regrets ?
I have so many
and as numerous as they are
I accept responsibility for taking
for making each and every one
as an individual principled by choice

Now , I have arrived at my final impasse
this heart has been summoned once more
again I am upon the verge
of that towering precipice
from which the fall
is of the highest magnitude
further envisaged consequences
seek me out readily
could I allow this salvation
to attain its destiny ?

As fallen was I drawn forth
come to take it all
now I'm over it
and I can't even dig my own grave

From the blackest mythos of nightmares
realised from disturbed dreaming
is all of the darkened atrocity
I have sinned
by my own unbound hands

There still drips a trickle of humanity
the teasing essence
of what I previously knew as emotions
has not passed by the way
how could it

Surely , I am tortured by this visage
this countennance that has no end
nor even a reflection
only a beginning

How long must I hide as cast away ?
how many centuries must I endure ?
when can I die ?

My mind has succumbed to a fallen state
where I perceive more
than I could ever have sought to know
so much stronger in so many ways
yet still so far from being
perfectly free of weaknesses - faults

I cannot uncreate of what I am made
this composition of flesh and bones
held together by others blood
anothers breath

Again she come to haunt me
this desert rose of white
before a backdrop of horrors
she cannot know

An animal of lesser instincts
have I been the night before
yet her gentle smile asks no question
I cannot answer
her softened touch demanding nothing
save the pleasure of my time
to simply share the moonlight
in quiet conversation

She finds herself compelled
to seek my company
while the answer of why eludes me
my power to mesmerise still unexpressed
her reason to return - to seek me out
night after night
of her chosing alone

Soon , as we draw ever closer
to the other
harsh realities must surely intervene
for I know that true love is unbiased
not fallen
and upon such emotional rational
I must eventually leave
to save not myself
but my love from me