Reality fights need
Laughter against tears
A glimpse of fulfillment
being overshadowed by ever expanding emptiness
I stand caught in the middle
being torn apart in this civil war of my soul
I cannot find the grey area
that would allow both sides to come together
Harmonious balance is a sad casualty
forgotten if it ever existed
I immersed myself in the euphoric matters of the heart
only to be pulled onto the bitter shores of guilt and fear
Sobered, I anchor myself
to the steady foundation and safety my mind provides
only to find myself anchored to pain and loss as well
Trying to avoid commitment to one or the other
leaves my soul and my sanity rocking dangerously on the razor edge of decision
Both sides dropping down to a chasm
whose yawning black depths seem to swallow the light
How does one choose one side over another
when truth resides interwoven in both
One cannot exist without the other
but I see no way to be both places at once
Raging turmoil ensues
Disputes born of wrongs in the past
Confusion, pain, and chaos
the only survivors of the chain of events set in motion