I always tell you and Matt thank you for the little things that you do.
Oh…you washed a load of clothes? Thank you that helped.
Oh…you turned on the dish washer? Well, thank you that was nice.
What…you cleaned the kitchen after dinner? Thank you, how nice of you.

What I really want to say is…IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!
Why did you wash only one load of clothes? What did you do the rest of the day?
You TURNED ON the dish washer! Who loaded it? Why didn’t you wash the dishes that
Wouldn’t fit before you turned it on?
Congratulations… you cleaned the kitchen. Wanna try to cook? Want to try for the rest of the house?
How about the litter box? No?! You can’t handle that? It makes you gag?
Well… I can think of a few things around here that make me gag,
Like washing out the sink before I can brush my teeth because you left spit out toothpaste in the bottom.

I told you last night that I felt unappreciated. That a thank you would be nice every once in awhile.
What was your response? You know I love you. You are making me feel like a bad husband.
This is not about you right now. I know you like to be the center of attention, but this is not about YOU.
This is about ME. I do exist you know. I am here. I am a human being.
Love does not have a fucking thing to do with it! So what, you love me.
Then tell me that you appreciate the things that I do for you both.
Quite treating me like I am your mother and it is expected of me.
You of all people know that I can be a bitch and I WILL show my ass.

I work eight-nine hours a day.
Granted my work is not physical like yours. I don’t have to work outside in hundred degree temperatures all day.
My work is mental. I work with numbers all day. I do data entry most of the day especially around this time of the year, I barely have time to think, you know that.
So a little appreciation and help around the house would be a very big deal to me.
All I want is a small Thank You every once in awhile.
Not every day, because then it would become routine.

Your idea of helping me clean the house is to take Matt and leave
So as not to get in my way. Is that the way you think that I want it?
I would rather have you both here and give you certain jobs to do to help me out
Rather than leave me alone to do it myself.
Do you think I enjoy picking up after a bunch of slobs?
If that were the case, I would have gone to work on a pig farm.
Not become a mother and a wife to a couple of ungrateful self centered boys.

Yes I said boys, because that is what you act like.
Like last night, you fixed a door knob for me, THAT
I had been working on for thirty minutes.
Your response after I gave you the go to hell look?
“What, no thank you?”
No, FUCK YOU. How about that? Did you like that response?

No, what I hurt your feelings? Quit wearing them on your shoulder and get over it.
That is how I feel every day of my life for the past eleven years.
You take me for granted, both of you do and I am as much to blame because
I have let it go on for too long.

I used to pride myself for having a backbone, for not taking shit from anyone
After the abuse that I went through, not only my whole life but mostly from that year
Fifteen or so years ago of being beat down every day, physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally.
I decided then and there that I was not going to take shit from any man ever again.
And I have found my way back into the bottom of the pit again with two of you this time.
I am taking the emotional abuse from you because you are causing me this pain of being unappreciated.
I am taking the mental abuse from myself. Beating myself up over it.
Well you know what, it’s time that I start to heal.

If you can’t appreciate me…
I WILL find someone who will.
Because I am worth it. I am worth the time and effort to keep a clean house.
I am worth the effort of making sure you have a hot meal ready when you get off work.
I am worth it.
And I WILL NOT let you bring me down anymore.
Lets see how much you appreciated what I did for you when I no longer do it.
When I am no longer here to do those things for you.
THEN YOU WILL APPRECIATE ME!!
THEN YOU WILL BE THANKFUL!!
THEN…IT WILL BE TOO LATE!