NOTE- I don't mean it anymore

I rebuilt
After a hard let down and a blender mix of my dreams
When there was belief for something more
following the hurrah following the curtain call
Us, who propelled the show
Let loose the smoke and sound and lights
After lithe fingers made my knees tickleish
Arm around waist to see if I could go the 30 seconds laughless
You said we were playing Requiem for a dream
then said you were wrong
You were right. It is requiem. requiem follwed by "a short fifteen minute intermission"
And so there was a pool party. And so you shut me out.
And then?
Plays in parks, running barefoot through grass to try and get to my place
You just laughing at my attempts to be a seamstress
Then, I still felt the sting of your contempt.
Then a party. Then movies. Then talking for a few hours in the park
yes, I saw all their sly looks sideways.
But you never noticed.
Did you mean it when we shared an armchair? Watching Merlin
Laughing at the copied lines
When I leaned into your shoulder and we spent twenty minutes closer then all of spring
Back at the theatre, when a game of tag
You caught me.
You did. Caught and twisted up my heart.
Did you know you did?
Does he know now
no, he dosen't. my attentions towards have moved to a fictional character
A masked vigilante, the Boy Wonder
who kisses her in cartoon
And I feel betrayed
HE DOESN'T KNOW!
He's not real, how can he
Yet I cannot put aside a need to be wanted
A wish for Requiem to play again.
For the lights to come up, to hear our director announce the intermission
The requisite smiles that mean good job
I want to go thirty seconds without laughing
smiling at the warth encircling my waist