Im feeling depressed as all hell
And trying to hold back tears
I told you things were cool between us
And I tried to fool myself into thinking they were
There was some momentary hapiness and realief
I truly thought finally im over you
And im ok with us just being friends
But I just realized that its going to take
Longer than a week to get over this
I feel like such a Drama queen and I feel
Like im obsessing over someone I wasn’t even that close to
But I just cant help myself
I think about you every second of my day
And its consuming and it makes me sick
I don’t want to I really don’t
I want to scream and in one breath
Let every emotion I feel about you out
So I can be renewed and we can start out
Again as just friends.
Why does this always happen to me!!!!!!!
I have this lump in my throat that just sticks there
For days on end and gets in the way of everything
I try to be happy and ignore it
But then when I get home and Im alone
I feel it and its all I can focus on.
Writing is my only release but that doesn’t even
Help that much
As I sit writing this I still feel the overwhelming feeling
Of disappointment and Im sick and tired of
Being that girl the girl that’s always the friend and never the girlfriend.
And of course I have to pretend in front of everyone that every things
Fine and dandy for fear of being labeled as immature or over reactive
My true feelings are all in one place in my heart, head , body , soul whatever
You want to call it that’s where they are and that’s where they’ll stay .