Whisper
Whisper is the sound I hear,
Is it in my head, of really here?
I walk alone through the halls,
One of many who break the rules
I do it though, not for attention,
I do it because I’m forced

I don’t know
I don’t know were the words he spoke,
The ones that told me, I was ill
Shouldn’t a doctor be able to tell?
To tell me why I’m sick?
No he couldn’t, not this time

Giggle
Snicker
They laugh at my flaws
And watch me walk away in shame
They’ve done it now, they pulled it off
They’ve killed me
They’ve crucified confidence

Stop
Stop the medicine,
The medicine is making it worse, not better
It causes more problems than it corrects
Here’s what they’ll say,
Take it four times a day,
Oh and here’s one for the side affect
Take it twice a day
Like an experiment, I do what they say

Tests
Tests I’ve been tested, for the illnesses I never though imaginable
Autoimmune, hereditary, tumors, cancer, Lupus,
Things that were impossible,
I’ve even seen a shrink,
She said it was all in my head

NO
NO it’s not,
The pain, this pain is in my head?
How can one imagine their own pain
The pain you suffer through all day,
Not emotional, not I hate you, I love you pain
The kind of pain that you can’t think through
The pain that feels like you could just die right here

Silence
Silence, that’s the sound I hear
I’ve waited for this day,
For when the new doctor could tell me I was cured
No, that’s not it, he said
You’ll have to see some one else

Who
Who will I see?
Will I see the doctor in Denver, or the one across town
How about the one upstairs
I’ve seen them all,
The result is the same,
They hand me a name
See him, he’ll help you,
I’ve seen ten.
None of them can

What
What alien has invaded my life?
What creature is hurting me?
Is it my own body, or a foreign invasion?

I’ll see this doctor, but my hope has faded

Thump
Thump goes my heart as I roam the halls
I keep to myself, so I’m not hurt again
I don’t want to be ashamed of who I’ve come to be,
You all know me, I’m the hat girl.

Don’t
Don’t feel bad for me,
It’s been a year and half,
I lost most of my friends,
Only the dearest are around
I’m still the same person I was before the hats
But you don’t know, you wouldn’t
I wore my one black hat that day
And you turned away,
Now, I have thirty, and I wear them proudly
I don’t know when it will end, or why it started

But
But don’t feel for me
Because I cry for you
You’ll never know how to live,
You’ll never know the pain
Or the love
Of a True friend