I like your subject and you have some strong lines "Within my fear I can only dare." I love that line!...( LOL ...I am paranoid to critique... I came on this site to get some constructive criticism and my poems have been the most popular since I came onboard 3 days ago... I am not full of myself and I am not that experienced... So please don't think that of me as I critique your poem... I'm just trying to help if I can and I appreciate any help that you may offer to me!) I don't want to write your poem... But I need more from this... Is this meant to flow or is it more of a prose style? ... If it is supposed to flow then count your syllables... Re: "Lurking behind the light, (6 syllables )...Voiding where it cannot fight." (7 syllables) "Voiding where it can't fight".. Makes it flow better... I feel like it needs more lines that make you have to stop and think about it for a minute... Like ... It's hard to see a shadow in the dark... It's hard to see the beauty of a shark... the r=two lines ..."Tripping me, pushing me, forcing me to fall, .. Making me look like a klutz, I kind of am after all." I would like to see you rewrite them… I don't want to discourage you... It's great that you are expressing yourself ... You write for yourself as I do... as we all do... "Always lurking beyond what the eye can see,
Is it a shadow or is it just me?....Always lurking where the eye can't see... flows better.... The least amount of words that you can use to convey a thought is your best path... I would like to see you work on this poem some more. I think it could be a great poem... I hope you don't hate me! ... Good luck and keep writing!

Ray AKA yobarney

thanks for the comment...
this is a pretty cool poem. =D
~brianna~